1. |
Realization
01:30
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The constant strife
Burns into my mind
An unchanging fate
A martyr for pain
This is my last attempt
To try and make a change
But what is done
Cannot be erased
So when you see me next just know that this is my last fucking breath
Regret
The only thing I'll never feel
But is in the head of the rest
As they stare at me dead
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2. |
Hurt Me
02:14
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What do you know about heartbreak
Losing everything you love
It seems I can't get enough
It will never be enough
Tell me I'm worthless
Tell me every problem I have
I want you to make me flinch
I want to feel the hurt
Know what makes me tick
Tear me down till there is no more
Thats all I'm asking for
The world made me feel nothing
You're make me feel something
Never ending torment for emotion
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3. |
Insanity
02:24
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I tried my hardest
But wasn't good enough
Gave you everything
And you just gave up
What the fuck is the point
To not be alone? To find love in a broken home?
I had this fear things would never be the same
I was chained to misery
If I could see your face one more time I'd realize that this happiness is mine
In the end there's only pain
The constant reminder this wasn't meant to be
This is what they call insanity
Taking the same actions
Expecting change
If I could find the words to explain I could try to forget your name
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4. |
Fate
03:34
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If I killed myself tonight would my fate
A martry of pain, be realized
Would everyone I've ever loved miss me
Will the newspaper headlines read how I used to be
Will they talk about my downfall
My self-medicating withdrawals
The isolation
That left me lonely
I can see what you wanted of me
As I stare down the barrel of this loaded gun
With my finger on the trigger it's crystal clear
You'll be happy without me here
I can see what you wanted of me
As I stare down the barrel of this loaded gun
With my finger on the trigger it's crystal clear
You'll be happy without me here, you fucking bitch
I'm just a statistic
Another blood stained carpet
One more regret in your closet
Is this what you wanted of me
Another causality to the pain
I let go to fate
To become an example of pain
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5. |
Pain Stays
02:34
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So many people I know, wasting away 6ft under or working through the day
The world never cared
Joy fades
Pain stays
I had to find happiness in loneliness, a cursed existence
A way to love myself while waiting for death
Lost and never replaced
My only reward, a smile in the grave
I bled out everything I ever felt
And what I found is that this emptiness never ceases It never truly ends Just a void to be filled back up again
I have a Deathwish
Because the world never stops wishing I was dead
Beat me down one more time so two steps will end my life
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6. |
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I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sai the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever
had.
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
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7. |
Intrinsic Thoughts
03:17
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Intrinsic thoughts
Heavy but never lifted
Kept tight in a lock box
Next to my casket
A reminder on my way down
Of the things I could never say
On the the tip of my tongue
Is what I meant
But far from what you want
I'll never be what you wanted of me
I'll never be what I wanted to be
Throw me out like I'm worn
Fragile will
Paper thin
This picture is torn
Three wishes short of peace
And I can't seem to speak
Just fucking leave me
I'm destined to fail
I'm destined to repeat
Forget me like a stranger on the street Forget me like I forgot the important things
Promise not to miss me
Because in the end I wasn't good enough, I'm not meant to fucking love, right?
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8. |
Laugh
02:20
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It's all a joke
Is what I say
But in reality
I'm fighting everyday
To stop darkness from clouding my brain
It gets harder to breathe
As lungs fill with lead
I can't escape these thoughts in my head
Break me down, I'm better off dead
I sit here and play with the trigger
What will happen when I reset
All I wanted was a fucking friend
Wishing
Wishing for a laugh
Wishing
Wishing for time to pass
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9. |
Fear of Death
03:13
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I just can't think
With all these worries in my head
I wish I could find rest
But it's always hidden
I'm wide awake with my demons
So long I've had these thoughts that death is at my door and I can't take it anymore
I feel like I'm going insane
Lay down and count to three
Breathing techniques are failing
This is where I break
A descent into madness
I can’t begin to know what is real
Everything just seems so corporeal
But if I take just one more pill
Maybe then I won't feel so mentally ill
But then again this could be what brings my end
The cost of sanity is my death
That's what always haunts me
That's what always stops me
From getting better I'm always getting worse
I never thought I'd know
The sound of silence
And when I got it
My fear came to be
I swear I tried my best
To make it through this
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